Handicap Beneath The Rainbow

Somehow they are caught between two worlds: disabled people who are being attracted to the same sex encounter lots of bias and ostracism. So much the better when they know that they are not alone with their emotions.

01.08.2008

Corrie Peters makes a statement with
his wheelchair in rainbow colours: I
love men; © Peters

„I have always been a spastic. That is normal for me“, states Corrie Peters (44). He also fancies men, not women and has known that since he turned 14. That's not a big thing to him - others think differently about it. „I believe that I belong to a marginal group of a marginal group. On one hand, by being a spastic I don't find myself being of much interest within the lesbian and gay community. At the same time, by being gay I don't match the norm amongst disabled people.“

The clichés about and prejudices against both life styles - gay or disabled - are a many. Disabled people - whether man or woman - are often being regarded by non disabled people as being asexual. Those concerned with disabilities hardly make sexuality a topic, even more when it comes down to loving the same sex. Amongst gays and lesbians disabled people do not fit the current ideal of beauty. Interest in those being gay and disabled and their needs is correspondingly low - if they like it or not: they are being excluded.

„There hardly exists any information for disabled people with homosexual orientation – least of all accessible ones such as audio formats for visually disabled people“, Thomas Rattay criticizes. The sexual counselor advises gay and lesbian adolescents with a handicap in an information centre in Germany. "There is a lack of sexual education in schools and special contact points." Many situations would be so much easier for those affected if they had the right information - the most common one being the so called coming out.

How do I tell my parents?

Corrie told his father only four years ago that he loves men even though he has known it for 30 years. „He was totally shocked and it took a year before he could face my boyfriend.“ For many the coming out is one of the hardest steps. „Most are very scared about how their parents or friends may react when they find out about homosexuality“, Rattay explains. Especially people with a handicap being in need for assistance by others are very concerned. For them it is very difficult to say to their parents or carer: „That is the way things are and if you don't like it you can leave“ since they depend upon help.

Corrie has arranged his personal surroundings in a way that those assisting him do not have problems with his sexual orientation. However, this is not always possible as he knows: „A woman that lives in a home for handicapped people always searches for good excuses when she wants to attend our weekly gay group meetings because she is scared of receiving negative reactions otherwise.“ That is why Corrie sees the need for concepts in homes for handicapped people signaling openness and tolerance towards an independent life also when it comes down to topics such as love and sexuality. „As long as the topic sexuality is being ignored into oblivion it will be hard for us to raise attention for the topic homosexuality“, he states.

Position of homosexual and disabled people in society changes

„It is due to historical reasons that gays and lesbians have been and partly still are being isolated in society“, Rattay explains. This is also true for handicapped people. The church, for example, has always had problems with homosexuality, during the Nazi-era many homosexual and disabled were killed. Only little by little social conceptions change and the self-conception of these groups develops slowly. „Thirty years ago nobody would have cared about gay and lesbian people with a disability“, the sexual counselor says. It was the women's movement, the changes in society after 1968 in Germany and the so called "cripples' movement" that gave rise to centres for self-determined life for handicapped people and for gays and lesbians.

Today more attention is being paid to these groups also on a political level. Just consider the law against discrimination“, Rattay explains. More and more self-help groups are being founded. The internet makes it much easier to get the right information and to meet like-minded people. That way homosexual handicapped people learn that they are not alone with their feelings. Corrie Peters and Thomas Rattay encourage gay and lesbian disabled people to get in touch with each other.

Natascha Mörs
REHACARE.de