As Long as They Are Educated

01/04/2007

Mentally disabled teenagers also only think about one thing. They want to kiss, to snuggle, some already want to have sex. All the more it is important that these young people know about possible consequences. Due to this, in residential homes and schools they are sexually educated.

A bunch of 16 to 19 year old girls meet Inge Thömmes. The interest in the sex pedagogue is great – puberty is in full swing. Once a week, Thömmes who works for the association pro familia in Bielefeld, Germany, talks one and a half hours about sexuality and relationships: “In the beginning, I first of all ask which words the participants know. Afterwards we talk about these topics.”

“Disabled teenagers have the same concerns like non disabled ones”, Thömmes explains. They are interested in how to speak to a boy or what they can do if they argue with their boyfriend. However, topics like pregnancy and contraception are the most important ones for Thömmes. The same is true for the parents of mentally handicapped boys and girls because they are mainly concerned about an unwanted pregnancy of their children.

This fear does not have to be justified, because the girls are not naive. When Thömmes asks if they want to have own children she gets different answers. One of them says: “I want to have children. Later, when I am ready with my apprenticeship.” The others explain that they are not too sure if they want a baby at all because they do not know if this would not be too difficult to handle.

This extend of self determination is relatively new. Slowly society begins to regard disabled people as persons with a right for sexuality. Since the end of the 19th century and especially during the Nazi period disabled people have been compulsory sterilised. In the Hitler era over 360,000 people have been compulsory operated under the colour not to get “ill” offspring. But even after the Second World War there have been further forced sterilisations, also in other countries like the USA and Sweden. In Switzerland mainly handicapped women have been operated even till the 80s.

Today, forced sterilisations are forbidden, they are a breach of human rights. “Sterilisations are barely hard to find“, Thömmes explains, „It is only possible if the affected people agree. If people who are cared for are not able to communicate, because they are strongly handicapped, so that they cannot agree, an attended person is called by the guardianship court to proof if a procedure takes place or not. And this is only possible if the person really cannot use any other contra receptive.

Contraceptive pills, coils, condoms – these are also topics in Thömmes’ course. If a young person wants to use contraception, a medicine needs to tell them which method is convenient for them. “In some cases medical consequences have to be weighed up. Girls with epilepsy for example should not use the pill because their drugs may neutralise the effect”, Thömmes says.

If mentally disabled boys and girls can handle contraceptives, that depends on the degree of their disability. Thömmes explains: “The girls in my course understand the correlations despite their disability. However if the adolescents are severely mentally handicapped one first has to ask if they generally want to have sex.”

Parents often fail to sexually educate their children. They don´t know how to talk about sex. “They fear that their children could make a bad experience”, says Thömmes. Sexual assaults often occur with mentally disabled teenagers, especially girls. A good reason to familiarise even small children in a way that suits their age with sexuality. Thus their self-confidence is strengthened. To support the parents in this task informational meetings are organized. They are always crowded.

“The parents can speak frankly about their concerns here”, states Thömmes. And again it becomes apparent that they mostly fear an unwanted pregnancy. This would pose a great burden on the parents as their children would not be able to raise the kids on their own. “We disperse the parent´s fears. They realize that the teens are able to understand what consequences sex could have.”

To achieve this, sex education has to take place repeatedly so that the teenagers can internalise all the information. The better the children are sexually educated, the better they are guarded. “The young persons feel good when they know what they want and what not”, highlights the pedagogue. A girl at the end of the course feels just the same: “Now I finally know when to say yes and when to say no. I like that.”

REHACARE.de

- More on the association "pro familia" at: www.profamilia.de