REHACARE.com talked to her about the things she had to learn as a mother and asked about the aspects that were important for her right from the start when it came to raising her children.
Ms. Zoubek, what were you concerned about prior to and during both of your pregnancies?
Lydia Zoubek: When a woman is pregnant, people always say, "It doesn’t matter whether it’s a boy or girl as long as it’s healthy." That was basically also my sentiment but I didn’t seek genetic counseling. I also wasn’t worried whether my children might have a disability or not. I did the usual prenatal care tests and even took a high-resolution ultrasound. That’s how I found out that my first child is a girl. However, I didn’t have an amniocentesis or similar test done because I would not have considered an abortion had a disability been detected at that point. Both of my kids were planned children. It didn’t matter whether they might have a physical disability or Down syndrome – the only implication for me would have been that the knowledge would have enabled me to prepare for any respective condition. For me, a child with a disability is worth just as much as a healthy child.
How well were you able to cope after giving birth?
Zoubek: Obviously, I had to learn many things. How do I change a baby? How do I dress it properly? How do I bathe my baby? The hospital staff had some issues showing me things correctly but I had an amazing midwife post-delivery who assured me that we would be able to handle it all together once I was home. And that’s exactly how it was: little by little, she taught me everything and I never felt overwhelmed.
Did your midwife have any prior experience with blind mothers?
Zoubek: No. When we met, the midwife said, "Well, we get to learn things from each other. I will learn how a person with a visual impairment handles life – and you will learn how to take care of your baby." We simply tried things out together. And she was so amazing, I insisted on having her by my side again with my second child.
What were some of the reactions you encountered during both of your pregnancies?
Zoubek: I had a wonderful gynecologist who said, "You are pregnant. Many people will tell you what to do and what not to do and what’s wrong or right. But if you seriously have any questions, please come and see us before you try out things people tell you to do." The female gynecologist of the group practice also said: "Why wouldn’t you have a child as a blind woman?" Plus, I was not her first blind patient. She believes what matters most is technology and a great attitude.
Having said that, some acquaintances didn’t understand and wondered, "Why would a blind person have a child?!" They usually added, "But your husband is able to see, right?" Or people asked whether my parents would help me after the birth or whether I had a helper. But you have to let go of these thoughts and surround yourself with people that are good for you and go on this journey with you and offer their help. Communication at eye level was very important to me. For instance, I have two sighted girlfriends, whose children are the same age as mine. We supported and encouraged each other.
And probably also compared notes?
Zoubek: Yes we did. For example, I was able to ask them whether they can show me how to use a baby sling carrier, so I am not totally ignorant about it once the baby is born. Once the time had come, I was able to use the baby sling carrier properly: I had my child on my tummy and my hands free – one to use for my white cane and the other one to carry items or to feel for things. My girlfriends’ suggestions had paid off immediately.